Just give me a reason
by RunningForTheGreatEscape
Summary: Clary left the gang three years ago. What is going to happen now she's back and isn't the Clary they remember. All Human. I suck at summaries! Rated M for lemons later on. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

Clary hadn't been home in three years. She hadn't been in her home or saw her family in three years since that faithful night where she just upped and left only leaving a note saying goodbye. Sure she'd kept in touch with her family with a few e-mails and a phone call on certain days like birthdays, mothers day and Christmas, but apart from that no one had seen her in so long.

You see she had left and only one person knew the real reason. Walking in on your boyfriend of two years cheating on you in bed with the school slut put a lot of things into perspective for her. She wouldn't let her heart fall so willingly into someone's hands only for it to get trampled on. She decided that letting anyone in wasn't worth it because when she did let them in eventually they would prove to her why she shouldn't. All the things she had told them in secret which they were meant to keep always ended up coming out. So now she only let people know what she chose to let them.

Clary didn't want to go home, but it was necessary as part of the deal she had with her parents. Her last year at school would be at home whether she liked it or not. She'd been avoiding her demons the day she'd left and the time had come where she'd have to face up to them and all the trouble that would follow once she'd arrived. She could use less trouble in her life.

Flying down the roads curving in and out of cars on a jet black motorbike, a line of cars honking in behind the motorbike as it flew past them. Everyone heard the gunning of the motor bike and watched as it parked. A new student? It was rare for the school to have them as no one wanted to live in this town. A girl hopped off the motorbike, helmet still on hiding her face as she opened up a compartment in the bike and grabbed her bag, locked up the motorbike. The girl took off the helmet, shook her bright red hair so it tumbled down to her back in curls. She was wearing a black leather jacket, a white tank top, black ripped skinny jeans and black army boots and had the smoky eye look. She turned around before she walked to the office and winked at all the boys staring at her then continued her way to the office, helmet in hand. The girl had the bad ass look about her.

The whole school was in a buzz of this new girl, who was she. They wanted to know everything about her. Clary laughed in her head. They wasn't going to know anything important about her. The school was just how she remembered it, full of the normal stereotypes. She'd gotten her timetable, put her helmet in her locker and was slowly making her way to the first lesson she could be late to it because she was 'new'.The moment she stepped into the classroom all eyes where on her. I could hand them all out pictures if they want something to stare at all day she thought to herself. She'd spotted her old friends, Simon, Izzy, Alec, Magnus and the one person she wanted to forget Jace. They didn't recognise her, she smiled at that thought. This is going to be interesting.

"Ah yes, the new student is here. I'm Luke, you're teacher. You've made quiet an impression already I'm afraid and as tradition goes, when a new person joins this music class they must present their talents to the class once they introduce themselves, so when you're ready." said Luke.

So the fun begins I see.

"Hi there, I'm Clary Fray." Izzy looked like she was about to burst in happiness, so did Simon, Alec and Magnus. Where Jace showed no emotion at all. "As a few of you know, I used to go here and I'm back for my last year. My talent is singing. I suppose I could sing you something, erm.. Renegade by Paramore." I spoke clearly to them, no one knew that I could sing. I stood where I was, all eyes on me. Just the way I liked it.

"_And the grass wasn't green enough here  
After watering it with my tears  
I'm not sure where you went  
Now we are just past tense  
And the snakes, they are slithering in  
Chasing me to my end  
I can't say where that is  
I'm running again_

_And when I get there_  
_It won't be far enough_  
_I'm a renegade_  
_It's in my blood_  
_If ever I get there_  
_It won't be fast enough_  
_I'm a renegade_  
_I always was_

All of the students where staring at me wide-mouthed. They were shocked at me. Good. I'm not the little girl I once was.

_Well, the spark never lit up a fire__  
__Though I tried and tried and tried__  
__The wind came through your lungs__  
__A hurricane from your tongue__  
__I'll keep your secrets with me__  
__Right behind my teeth__  
__Your anger, your anchor__  
__But I'll sail much further on, ah, on_

_And when I get there__  
__It won't be far enough__  
__I'm a renegade__  
__It's in my blood__  
__If ever I get there__  
__It won't be fast enough__  
__I'm a renegade__  
__I always was_

_I'll keep running__  
__I'll keep running again, keep running__  
__I'll keep running, running, running__  
__Keep running, running, running_

I smirked at the wide mouths, I could hear them whispering about how good I was, how I'd put them all to shame with my talent. Suck on it losers!

_Oh, when I get there__  
__It won't be far enough__  
__I'm a renegade__  
__It's in my blood__  
__If ever I get there__  
__It won't be fast enough__  
__I'm a renegade__  
__It's in my blood__I'm a renegade__  
__I always was."_

They all were held on my last note and then started clapping at me, I smiled at them.

"Wow Clary. Looks like we've got some competition now guys. Why don't you take a seat at the back next to Izzy." Luke muttered before he started searching for something on his desk.

Fuck. I'll now have to deal with the one woman train of Izzy, well it was better that I was going to deal with it rather than later, I sighed. I could tell that this was going to be a long lesson.

"Oh my god Clary!" she silently screamed at me, a long lesson and probably a headache.

"Calm down Izzy. God." I pleaded.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you tell me you was leaving? Why did you leave? How come you're back now? You look so hot! Why didn't you keep in contact with anyone?" she rushed out all these questions in one.

"Breathe woman breathe. Jesus can't deal with you going hysterical on me. Now shush and let me answer your questions before you give me even more woman because I can see you're dying to know more." I sighed. "I've lived in England for the passed three years studying music and art. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving I just left. I left because I had the option of going away to study. I'm back now because it was the deal with my parents that I'd be back home for my last year so mum could watch me graduate. I didn't keep in contact with anyone because it was far too expensive and there's such a thing as time zones, there's like a 5 hour time difference from here to England."

She didn't look happy with my answers, like she was searching for more information. Good luck getting any more, this woman's like a prison, no one can get in and nothing can get out. I noticed that Simon, Alec and Magnus was all listening intently to my replies and had the same disbelieving look Izzy did when I told her my reason for leaving. Jace on the other hand looked like he was silently plotting against me in his head and acknowledging that I wasn't even there. Good.

Lunch came around quickly, Izzy, Simon, Alec and Magnus all sat with me while telling me all about what had happened while I was away. Turns out after I'd left Alec and Magnus finally got together and couldn't be happier. I was happy they deserved to be happy after everything they'd been through. A year later Izzy finally realised that she loved Simon and ended up finding him in his lesson and kissing him, ever since then they've been together. I was happy for my friends. My disappearance brought happiness in the end. I found out that Jace had turned away from his original friends once I'd left and began an endless rampage of using sluts, it actually disgusted me that he'd lowered himself to that level.

A week later and we'd all settled into a comfy routine with each other and felt like I hadn't even been missing for three years, they accepted the new version of me and loved my sarcasm and wit. I felt happy, happier than what I had been and realised how much I had missed them all. We was now sat eating lunch I was laughing at Magnus who was trying to cover Alec with glitter and Alec wasn't having any of it. I felt someone walk behind me before I even heard their voice.

"What do you want Jace. You haven't bothered with any of us at school for years. What could be so important that we have to put up with your presence longer than necessary." Izzy spoke viciously towards him.

I stiffened up as she said that name.

"Aren't I allowed to pay a visit to my siblings and glittery friend and rat face." Jace replied.

I turned my head around. "He's not a rat face, asshat."

"My my, such an interesting vocabulary you have there, little red."

"My my, such an uninteresting come back. Please remove yourself from my presence and don't bother coming back to me when you've thought of something better."

He moved himself close to my ear, "Why would I do such a thing like that, as I remember you used to like me in your presence."

"As I remember, I used to, until you slept with that slut over there the one who is giving me death glares. Sorry Aline. Unless you're a witch with magic that won't work honey. As for you Jonathan, I will warn you once only. Stay away from me. I don't need your conceited asshattery around me any more than necessary so unless you'd like to keep your vital parts down there which seem to be the only thing that you care about any more. Stay the fuck away from me." I stood up, grabbed my things and walked off leaving a stunned Jace and laughing students around him. That felt better than what I thought.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket five text messages within five minutes, interesting.

OMG JACE'S FACE I WISH I COULD HAVE CAPTURED IT ON A PHOTO! You are my hero! - Izzy

When did you become so fluent in making people stunned Clary? - Magnus

Jace had it coming to him, thank god someone finally put him in his place. - Alec

Never leave me, school would be boring without you! - Izzy

ALL HAIL QUEEN Clary ~bows down~ - Simon

I chuckled at the messages and made my way to class. Maybe this school year wasn't going to be as bad as I'd originally thought.

**Hey guys, sorry if I've got anything wrong with the whole Americanness for classes and such. I'm British and I know you call different things over there so please excuse it. Reviews would be great. I'll try and upload some more when I can. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**To the guest user. Thank you! Now kiss my feet while you're bowing down to me (joking by the way). Here is chapter two just for you making me laugh! Thank you to everyone who has added this story to their favourites and following it. Reviews would be nice, to know how well I'm doing (:**

Jace POV

When did Clary become such a bad ass. No one has been able to stun me like that ever and did she really have to insult Aline like that, in front of everyone. No one insults Jace Wayland like that, not even Clary Fray and I get that she's changed probably because of what I did to her, but doesn't she think I regret making her leave because deep down, everyone knows that it is all my fault. I couldn't even explain to her what happened, she just left leaving me a tear-stained note.

_Dear Jace,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed or what you wanted. I'm sorry that you felt the need to cheat on me than rather break up with me. Maybe it's my fault, maybe it isn't, but right now I can't bear to be around you. I can't close my eyes without seeing the images of her and you together and it is killing me inside. This is why I ask you this, please don't look for me, don't try to contact me. I need to get away from here, from you because if I stay here, everything is just going to remind me of you and I can't deal with that. I can't deal with the fact that if I stay, you will be with her while I'm alone because I've lost my best friend and the boy I stupidly fell in love with. I know I'm being a coward and not facing up to this situation but I'd rather be a coward and run away then deal with you being with someone else. I'm sorry you wasted all those months on me which mean a lot more to me then what they did to you. I'm sorry. I need this space. Please, please don't contact me._

_I love you._

_Clary._

That was that, by the time I got the letter she had gone, leaving every trace of me behind and then I lost my way into a bottomless pit of trying to fill the void that she'd left but who am I kidding, no one could ever fill the void that belong to her. She'd never give me another chance to make everything right the way she reacted gives me this. For the second time, I'm going to do as she wishes me to. I will leave her alone.

Clary POV

I hadn't heard a peep from you know who for the past two weeks. Least he took me seriously. I was still going to classes, always being an excellent example of badassness as Izzy called it. It was lunch and I was sitting with everyone again and I'd had a weird feeling all day that something was going to go wrong today. When all of a sudden someone dumped their food on me literally. I spun around seeing red. Fucking Aline was going to get it.

"I would say sorry but I'm not. You look far better with food on you." She told me in that high-pitched pathetic voice.

"Aline, we all know you're jealous of me. I mean seriously. Putting food on me a new standard of patheticness. Can't you even think of anything which isn't involved in a stupid film you watch or is your brain that small you can't think of anything or yourself just like your sheep of sluts."

"I so have a brain and I am not a slut!" she screeched.

"Could have fooled us all, what are you on now 200 guys you've slept with? That's more than half of the students in our year."

Aline leapt at me, screeching in my ear that I was going to get it. I fell backwards with Aline on top of me trying to pull out my hair, seriously woman I like my hair! With that I rolled her over, sat on her and pinned her down as she tried to wriggle out of my grip. She got one of her hands free and slapped on the face and with I wasn't going to play nice any more. I punched her square in the eye knowing that it would bruise her face. I smirked at her. She bite me so I punched her twice in the ribs knowing she'd have some lovely bruises. Someone pulled me off her trying to hold me back. I managed to get out of their arms and give Aline one last punch to the nose where it heard it crunch and start bleeding as the person grabbed me again and pulled me away from her.

"Fucking whore I'm going to need injections now cause I don't know where the fuck you've been!" I shouted as I was dragged outside.

The person holding me sighed, "If I let you go, do you promise not to go back and beat her to pulp again?"

It was Jace, why did he have to be the one to drag me away from her.

"Fine." I mumbled and then he let me go and I sat on the grass.

"Some pretty good fighting there, where'd you learn it?" Jace questioned.

"England." I replied shortly.

"Do you miss it there?"

"Yes."

"So why didn't you stay there?"

"It was part of the deal for when I left. I went there and I come home for my last year of school."

Jace joined me in sitting on the floor, I was pulling out grass in my frustration. Why did he have to be the one to drag me out of there. Why is he acting all friendly to me. Why didn't he just leave me to beat that slut. She steals my boyfriend, fucks him and then dumps her shit on me just because I embarrassed her a few weeks ago. Urgh. I so wanted a quiet fucking year.

"Clare," Jace began, "I never had the chance to tell you this and I know that you don't want to hear it, but I am sorry for what I did to you, none of it was your fault. It was all me I can't put into words how sorry I am." He sounded so torn, so distraught. I looked at him, his eyes showing every ounce of regret, sadness.

"I learnt a long time ago, that if things were meant to happen, they would. Things happen and there's nothing that we can do to change it. We just have to deal with what comes our way the best we can."

Jace nodded but remained silent.

"I'm off home. Tell the gang if they want me to text me will you. Oh and Jace, thanks for dragging me off her." I was gone before he even had time to reply. I ran to my locker, grabbed my helmet and raced to my bike. Jumping onto it and speeding away. I went home and collapsed on my bed. Why does trouble always follow me and why was Jace being so nice to me all of a sudden. I know none of it was my fault and it was his and I've accepted that he did what he did, but him apologising for it really doesn't make it better. I heard my phone ring signalling that someone had text me. Well more than one person really.

With moves like that guuuurl, we're all gonna be hiding from you! - Magnus

Oh glitter bomb! Don't you worry your pretty little mind, I wouldn't hurt any of you, doesn't help with the added fact that you'd turn me into a fairy! - Clary

Too true my love. There is nothing wrong with being a fairy and glittered up! We must try it on you sometime, you're short and fairy looking. - Magnus

Oh no you don't Magnus, don't make me get ma moves on you! - Clary

Woah girl were did you learn moves like that! - Izzy

Being in England had its perks ;) - Clary

Aha! Feisty Clary, I like it! - Izzy

Can't believe I broke her nose though, and I heard it and it sounded so satisfying! I'm so sick and twisted! - Clary

We all have our dirty little secrets ;) I saw Jace dragging you away, why did he do that?- Izzy

I have no clue, maybe he knew that if I wasn't stopped I'd have done worse damage than what I did. I honestly don't know any more. He even said sorry Izzy... - Clary

Interesting... least he's finally able to say sorry to you, I know he's been wanting to for a while. Maybe he's remembered how much of an amazing friend you are and wants to be friends again? If he did, would you be friends with him after everything? - Izzy

You're not spying on me for him are you? :P – Clary

God no! Just giving you options on what may be going through his head, because his is pretty much locked up tight like yours woman! Just think about it, would it really be so bad if you was friends? - Izzy

~Hides behind everything~ is it safe to come out now? - Simon

I was not that scary, Si! - Clary

I beg to differ, scary Clary is scary. Remind me never to piss you off again. I'd like to keep all of my anatomy. ~Continues to bow down to queen Clary~ - Simon.

~Sighs~ you're such a numpty. - Clary.

I gave up texting them all, Izzy had given me a lot to think about. Did Jace really want to be friends? I still don't get why he took me off Aline, I'm sure one of my friends would have come to the rescue, but then why didn't they try to take me off her earlier? Did he tell them to leave me alone so he could get me off? Did they even try? All this is giving me one big of a headache. I was Clary Fray. I didn't over think these things. I didn't try to find answers in everything. I let whatever happen because that is how I roll. Why can't I be back in England. I had no drama there. I sang in night clubs, I went to school. I had friends. But there was no drama. I liked it. I miss the countryside. I miss drawing in and getting inspiration and getting lost in their woods. England just felt like home. Like I belonged there. I sighed and sank into my pillows. I must have fell asleep at some point because the next thing I knew was that my phone was furiously ringing and it was 4am.

"Hello?" I mumbled sleepily.

"Shit I'm sorry I woke you up, I didn't think you'd be asleep." a voice I recognised spoke.

"Jace?" I questioned?

"Yeah, it's me Clare."

"How did you get my number?"

"I may or may not have stolen Izzy's phone while she slept and took your number." he confessed.

I sighed, "What did you want Jace?"

He was silent for a few minutes. "I was wondering if we'd be able to be friends? If you say no, I understand. I mean after everything I put you through, last thing I deserve is to have you as a friend again."

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes I'll be your friend, don't expect me to be the person I used to be Jace. I've changed a lot more than what you think."

I swear I heard him sigh in relief.

"Of course Clare, I wouldn't expect you to be the same person after everything. Sorry I woke you up. I'll let you sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Jace."

With that we hung up and I dozed off back to sleep and too soon my alarm woke me up. I for one am not a morning person. I threw my alarm clock at the wall and it smashed into pieces. I smiled, least the stupid noise has gone, but yet again. I need a new alarm clock. That one is my twentieth one. I sluggishly pulled myself away from my bed and into the shower, I got ready in some cute high-waisted shorts, a white blue striped top, converse and my leather jacket of course. I curled my hair, put my make up to look slightly vintage with the eye-liner sweeping upwards and I was ready. Hopped onto my motorbike to school. I walked into the school and I swear down everyone moved out my way. Like you know Moses and the water parting. It was like that but with people. I stood there stunned for a few moments and then carried on walking to my next class trying to figure out why everyone moved out my way. Was they that afraid of me? Seriously?

Well today is going to be a very interesting day.

**Thanks for reading, please feel free to review this chapter for me. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, thank you to those reviewing, favouriting and following this story. Sorry it took me so on to add this chapter and that it isn't as long as my other chapters I've been busy with work. Please don't shoot me!**

Clary POV

I couldn't believe what was happening, everyone was moving out my way. You know in those movies where it has the popular girls and everyone moves out their way when they walk. It's like that. Did I dethrone Aline off her high horse and become the queen bitch?

All hail Queen Clary! ~Bows down~ - Simon

He really did have a thing for bowing down to me, strange boy. Never the less it made me chuckle. Surprisingly I didn't get into trouble for hurting Aline. Maybe she's realised that everyone was tired of her shit. I smirked as I saw her a black eye which couldn't be hidden by her make up and a nose cast thing. She shot death glares at me again and I smiled and waved at her. It didn't impress her but she didn't make a comment at me.

I was putting my things away into my locker, ready to go to music.

"Hey Queen Clary!" Izzy shouted

"Jesus Izzy, I'm not the queen."

"Technically you are since you dethroned Aline."

"It's her own fault for being so orange."

"What's her being orange got anything to do with dethroning her?" Izzy questioned.

"I don't know! But it does!"

Izzy laughed at me. "You're so weird Clary. I hear you and Jace are friends, when did this happen eh?"

"Yesterdayish early this morning. We ended up taking yesterday after the Aline thing and then he rung me up this morning asking we could be friends. I just feel like I can't deal with any more trouble or drama and holding grudges."

"My my, is little Clary losing her bad ass ways?" she mocked. I glared at her and she shut up.

"Come on you plonker, time to get to music." I muttered at her and she started laughing again.

I sat down in my usual seat with everyone as Luke announced that we would be having an exam in a few weeks where we all would have the chance to show case our talents as part of our final grade. He told us that we would have to show the whole school what we was capable of doing. We would each be doing a solo and then a duet with someone. Each team as he called it would be picked randomly out of a that and they would have to work together and that would count as part of our grade. He told us that we also will be judged as teams by people and then awarded a prize for the best solo female, best duet and best male. The whole class was excited. We never had the chance to show people what we was able to do.

So Luke began picking everyone's name out of a hat, Simon and Izzy, Alec and Magnus. Me and Jace. Wait what? Had I heard that right, didn't I? I looked towards Jace and there he was smiling at me. I felt like banging my head against a brick wall. Yes we're friends now, but it'd figured that I didn't have to well you know spend more time with him. I could have happily been polite to him and stuff. This is one of the reasons why I hated school. It always messes up my plans. I sighed.

Everyone has made the attempt of moving to their partners and since I hadn't moved having an inner fight with myself, Jace moved towards me and settled himself down. He looked very pleased with this situation.

"Well I think we all know my talent, yet I don't know yours, what is it?" I questioned Jace.

"I play a few instruments, mostly guitar and piano and I sing a bit."

Woah, I didn't know he could sing. I knew he played a few instruments.

"That's pretty impressive. Any idea's on what we could do?"

We discussed a few ideas on what songs we'd like to do, what genres, artists, possibilities of making a song which would enhance our grades more since I felt like the rest of the class would be doing well-known songs. Jace and I agreed that this would be best if we arranged to spend some time during lunches to practise and go to each others houses to make a final decision that way no one in the class would know what we was going to do.

As I was walking out of the lesson, my phone began to ring. It was mom, what did she want? She knew to not ring me during school. I answered it anyway hanging at the back of my friends so I could hear my mum.

I don't remember when I stopped walking or when my phone came shattering down to the floor making the noisy hallway quiet. I don't remember holding a wall to keep me up or sliding down the wall to the floor while the world carried on with their lives. I could hear my mom shouting my name to me, I don't remember when my friends realised that I wasn't following them. I could hear my friends trying to move me, but I was stuck. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. I felt someone pick me up because I was so unresponsive. I heard someone talk to my mom trying to find out what had happened and I heard that someone would take me home and keep an eye on me while my mother was working. I felt someone brush away my tears as we walked somewhere, when did I start crying? I couldn't stop crying. I heard a car door open and I was placed inside and they put my seat belt on.

I don't remember how I got home or how I ended up in my bedroom. I heard all the words the person was saying, that whatever had happened they would be there for me. That if I ever needed them, they would be there for me. That I was the strongest, bravest, intelligent woman who would smile at the world even if I was breaking inside and try to make other happy. I was placed on my bed. The person told me that they'd give me some space but they'd be downstairs when I was ready. They stepped towards the door.

"Please, please stay Jace." I whispered.

**Thanks for reading, next chapter will be up as soon as possible! I'm sure my fingers are typing away furiously while you are reading this. Please review my story if you have the time. Thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry that this chapter took longer to upload than the others, but as you can see it is way longer. Again, thanks for reading, reviewing and what not and if you could review again if you have time it would be appreciated.**

Jace sat down on the bed handing me tissues as I tried to pull myself together. The tears and initial shock had finally passed enough that I could focus.

"I'm sorry that you had to see me like this but thank you for bringing me home."

"Don't be silly Clare, it's what friends do for each other. Stupid question but are you feeling better?" Jace replied.

"A little. When I was in England, I stayed with a family and on my second year there, their little boy Noah found out that he had neuroblastoma, which is basically cancer. He was only four years old. I used to spend my days with him playing, reading. The way his eyes would light up when I'd come home from school. Or his smile when he'd painted me a picture. He was gorgeous and sweet and funny. He was a fighter that kid. He fought against it and got rid of it, but after I left, they found out that it had come back and hoped that he had more of a chance to fight it since he'd fought it once. The thing is that with cancer, if it comes back a second time, you're more likely to lose the battle against it because it usually comes back more violent. Noah, my sweet adorable monster passed away that night. His family wanted me to know because I was the sister that he'd never had and he was the little brother I always wanted."

Jace sat there silent as I told him these things, he let my tears fall down my face as I explained how important Noah was to me. When I finished crying he pulled me into a hug and I sat there in his lap, face buried into his chest crying. At some point I stopped crying and just let Jace hold me and I must have fell asleep on him because I felt him lay me down and him try to move away from me. I didn't want to speak so I took his hand and pulled him back to me. I guess he took the message that I didn't want to be left alone and laid down next me to with him brushing his fingers through my hair sending me deeper into a dreamless sleep.

When I finally woke up, my head was on Jace's chest, his arm around me and our legs tangled together. I tried to move but Jace kept an iron grip to keep me close to him.

"Jace," I nudged him slightly. He grumbled. "I need to pee, let go of me." He grumbled again but let go of me. I got up from Jace and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Well that wasn't awkward on anything waking up hugging your ex boyfriend. I had to sort myself out. I needed to be strong and brave Clary. I needed to book a flight to England and go support Mike and Jo on the loss of their son. I needed to help them, be there for them because they where there for me when I was dealing with my own issues. I owed them so much. I looked at the time, we'd only slept for three hours and school was still in session so I had time to ring them and explain the situation and see how long I could take off school, maybe two or three weeks? I walked out the bathroom and Jace was still laid face down into my pillow looking like he wouldn't be moving for a while. He looked so innocent while he slept. I left him there and crept downstairs and begun to sort out my plans out so I could go to the funeral.

An hour later I heard Jace coming down the stairs. I was on my laptop looking at flights. The school let me have two weeks off and the rest of the week as it was a Wednesday. I appreciated their sympathy. I'd run Mike and Jo and told them my plans, that they were my second family and I had to be there whether they like it or not. I wanted to help them as much as I could.

"When you leaving?" Jace questioned.

"Monday." I replied scrolling through flights

"How long will you be gone?"

"For two weeks, I've got the rest of this week off school and then two weeks. Which doesn't leave us long to sort out the music stuff and I'm sorry, but you understand, don't you?"

"Clare, I understand. You're always going to try to help them if you can and don't worry about the music thing. We'll sort it out when you get back. You concentrate on this. He pointed at my laptop screen. This will be your main priority now."

I nodded at him and booked a flight in first class.

"So what's next on the list of things to do before you leave?" Jace questioned.

"Erm... The flights booked. I could use a new funeral dress and some shoes, I'll need to pack my bag. I need to write something about Noah as Mike and Jo want me to speak at the funeral. I need some clothes while I stay there. I need to arrange flowers." I replied counting off the things on my fingers.

"Why don't we start the list while we're thinking about it. We'll get the dress shopping out the way now, before Izzy gets word that you need a new dress and spend 5 hours picking one for you." he laughed.

I smiled back at him slightly. "Alright. We'll go dress shopping."

We ended up going to about three dress shops until I found one that I found worthy of going to a funeral to. Why was most the dresses these shops either too short or showing off cleavage. The dress was a black skater dress I figured I could wear my black leather jacket with my down in the curls that Noah loved. I found some black 3 inch heels which went perfectly with my dress. Jace approved that the outfit was funeral worthy. He was silent today. Not making jokes and being his usual cocky self. I appreciated that from him.

I sat down at a table as Jace brought some food over. He remembered that I usually ordered the fast food place, cheesy spicy fries two sets of them for me since he didn't know how hungry I was.

"Thank you Jace. Just thank you for being there for me today and helping me. I don't know what I'd have done if it was anyone else instead of you." I told him sincerely.

"No problem Clare, no problem at all." he replied digging into his food.

I picked at the chips, not realising how hungry I actually was. I finished both portions of chips.

Jace drove me and my shopping home and told me that he'd tell the others to give me some space and tell them of what was going on. I thanked him for it, he always seemed to know when I needed space to sort my thoughts out. I guess he could tell that even though I looked perfectly normal now. I still hadn't come to grips of the news of Noah's death. I just didn't understand how a little boy with so much life and so much to give to the world could be taken away. He was only four for Christ sakes. No one deserves to lose a child before you die. They are meant to out live you, they're meant to make you go absolutely insane and drive you mad, but they always love you and you them. No one should have to lose a child at all, it's such a tragedy for it to happen.

I spent the rest of my weekend writing my speech for the funeral, picking and having various people keep me company. At school they'd been asking for money to go towards cancer and managed to raise a fair bit of money.

Before I knew it Monday had came and I was in the car with Jace. My parents hadn't been able to get away from work to take me to the airport. I understood. Jace offered to take me instead and I accepted. I'd finished my speech but I was nervous. I didn't want to say goodbye. We made it to the airport, I grabbed my handbag which had my iPod and a few other things in and Jace grabbed my suitcase and wheeled it in with me. We stopped inside the airport and Jace handed me my suitcase.

"Remember Clare. If you need me don't worry. Ring me up no matter what time it is. I'm going to be there if you need me okay?"

"I know. I'll be back in two weeks or you better be thinking of some ideas we can do for music okay? And don't annoy the rest of the gang please just because I'm not there to shout at you."

"Okay okay, I'll be on my best behaviour until you get back. It'll be alright. You'll be alright." He told me. We wrapped me in a hug for a few seconds and I had to go.

"I'll see you in two weeks." I told him and waved as I walked towards the receptionist person.

Two weeks later I was on the flight home. The funeral had me in utter hysterics. I managed to say my speech and his parents with a few tears streaming down my face. I have to say that it was beautifully done and there was fond memories of Noah that everyone could remember. He was loved by everyone. I was happy that he wouldn't be in any more pain, but I missed the little guy. I'd miss him jumping on me in a morning with that cheeky grin of his and him laughing while I tickled him because he woke me up.

While I was in England, I sneakily booked myself to have a tattoo, it wasn't anything big. It was an image of a small dinosaur on my hip. He loved dinosaurs. Mike and Jo let me take the one I'd bought for him that he loved which I was holding while I was on the aeroplane. I didn't really sleep much while I was there, I kept hearing Jo crying in the middle of the night. I kept thinking that I'd heard Roman's laugh through the house. Most of the time I'd end up sitting in his room in the dark while Jo and Mike cried. I didn't know what to do so I just held them as they helplessly cried. I felt so utterly useless, I couldn't do anything to make them feel better.

It was about four in the morning when I arrived back in America. I wasn't sure who was picking me up. I collected my things and went to hunt for who would be taking me home. For it being four in the morning, it was really busy and I couldn't find anyone. I stood on a chair and looked around. I saw Jace, guess he got the unlucky straw. He saw me standing on the chair and made a signal telling me to stay where I was. I watched him move towards me and I jumped down off the chair. He'd collected my things before I could grab them off the floor.

"Guess you got the unlucky straw for picking me up." I said to him

"I volunteered. I guessed you wouldn't want to talk about it, so I'm really doing you a favour and not letting you fall into the grips of Izzy yet."

"And I'm forever in your debt for it. Thanks Jace. Really, I mean it."

"No problem, let's get you home before jet lag gets you." he said and started walking towards the car.

He'd already loaded my bags into the back seat of the car and open my door for me, being the perfect gentleman I remember from a while a go. Jace must have noticed that I didn't feel like talking any more and started the car and drove onwards home.

For one thing I knew I needed to speak to Izzy about Jace's change in behaviour. I just didn't get why he'd volunteer to take me and pick me up. I mean yes we're friends now, but Izzy or Magnus or even my parents could have drove me. This was giving me a headache. His mood swings always changing constantly. Couldn't he just act one way towards me and that'd be it. I must have fell asleep because the next thing I remember is Jace carrying me into my house. I stirred in his arms and heard him whisper that jet lag finally got the best of me. He laid me down on my bed and I heard my mom thank him for getting me. He told her it was no problem at all and then the darkness consumed me again until the afternoon.

The next day I had my parents giving me the silent treatment. I'd told them about my tattoo and well to say they wasn't happy about it was an understatement. They'd come around eventually I thought to myself as I ate some pasta.

Come to mine after school to practice for music? I want to hear all your ideas. - Clary

Sure, I've got a few for my solo which I'd like you to help me with as well. - Jace

Yeah that's fine, I want your help on my solo as well please. - Clary

Sure thing cutie. I'll be around in a few hours. I hope you have food in, I'm so hungry! - Jace

All you ever think about is your stomach. I can't wait for the day that your metabolism fucks up and you end up bald and fat. - Clary

How you wound me woman! - Jace

I'm sure your ego and yourself will survive eventually. Now actually do some school work instead of texting me – Clary

Yes Miss! ~salutes~ - Jace.

Jace arrived at my house and of course I fed him, silently praying he'd turn fat soon so I could laugh at him. We discussed a few options for his solo and decided on what he'd be doing, we also sorted out my solo in the process. We where just having trouble trying to decide on what to do as a duet. Since we'd decided what we were going to do we chilled out for a bit watching some TV and then Jace jabbed me with his finger right where my tattoo was.

"Ow! Watch the tattoo man!" I shouted

"Tattoo? Since when?" he questioned trying to have a look at it.

I raised my shirt slightly so you could see the dinosaur tattoo on my hip.

"It's for Noah. He loved dinosaurs, I got it while I was in England on the sly."

"Since when you become such a bad ass?"

"Around the time I arrived in England three years ago. You wouldn't believe half the things I got up to." I laughed.

"Oh really." he smirked raising an eyebrow.

"Well there was this one time at a party and I ended up going around the room scamming money off people because 'I didn't have enough money to get home' I ended up with £500 and then spent it all on alcohol with my friends at their party. I've bagged my way out of driving fines that was so funny! This one time I even got a police escort back home. I also got free alcohol from a shop. I flirted with the counter guy while my friends stole it. I've stole my friends ex's car and left it in a shopping mall." I laughed remembering these memories. While Jace's face just got more shocked and shocked. Before I left here I never did anything wrong and if I did I'd feel so guilty for it and make things right.

"Sounds like you had fun there." he replied chuckling

"Yeah I did." I smiled.

The week went on like that. We ended up practising at houses mostly. Going to school and waiting for Friday to come around. Me and Jace would be the last people to perform that night so the heat was on for us to finish in style.

The night began with me singing Ronan by Taylor Swift. The song had stuck in my head once I'd heard it as it reminded me of Noah. I'd spoken to Luke about singing it and of course he has I could and I would be the first person on stage to sing it to everyone.

I walked on the stage. It was a full house everyone was here, students, parents, teachers.

"Hi, I'm Clary Fray. As most of the students know someone very dear to me recently passed away because of cancer. Tonight I'd like to dedicate this song to Noah who was only four years old. Also I have a collection box to go towards neuroblastoma and a hospice, if you could give anything you can, even if it isn't much it all helps. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this song." I spoke to them clearly.

I sat on stage, guitar in hand, strumming along. A white spot light on me. Everyone who was performing tonight was in the crowd listening to me. The whole room was quiet as I sung along to the song. I noticed that a few parents and students has a few tears coming down their face, so did I. I had the room in awe.

_"What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you?_  
_What if I kept the hand-me-downs you won't grow into?_  
_And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through?_  
_What if the miracle was even getting one moment with you?_

_Come on baby with me we're gonna fly away from here,_  
_come on baby with me we're gonna fly away from here_  
_You were my best four years._  
_I remember your bare feet down the hallway._

_I love you to the moon and back..."_

The whole room was silent after I finished the song. The wiped their tears and applauded.

"Thank you for letting me sing this tonight, enjoy the rest of the show." I said as I wiped my own tears off my face.

Everyone rushed around trying to get themselves ready for the show, me and Jace where silent and calm with all the madness running around us, we listened to everyone sing, congratulating our friends on their performances. And then I was my time to sing again. I was nervous. Jace was out in the crowd again, saying he wanted the best view to watch me.

I walked on the stage, all the lights were out just like I'd requested. A spot light came on as I began to sing. I noticed Jace in the front row.

"_So I called you up late last night and I said, hey, what you up to now?  
And you said 'Hey stranger, I'm in bed', and I said well guess what, I'm outside you door.  
'Oh girl do you know what time it is?'  
Oh boy do you know how long it's been? Come quick, full moon with me outside.  
He laughs down the phone and whispered 'Give me five'  
So I gave him three, 'cause this can't happen to me again, and I won't let him do this again."_

Jace looked like he remembered this memory, a few days ago I'd come to his house. I'd been up most of the night reminiscing about us before I left, before he cheated. That night I'd realised that I still had feelings for him. After all this time it would always be him. No matter how much I tried to hide it, I knew right at that moment.

_"And he looks a lot different now he's cut his hair.__  
__And he smells a lot sweeter, he stopped smoking cigarettes.__  
__But the one thing that hasn't changed at all are his smiling eyes."_

I looked straight at him singing this part to him. I couldn't read his expression before he looked confused because this wasn't the song that he thought I was going to sing. He shrugged it off and continued to listen to my lyrics contently._  
"__Another piece of you has found a way in.__  
__Thought I locked my doors and turned off the light.__  
__Another piece of me must find her way home,__  
__I cannot accept I always do this alone.__  
__A part of my heart dies and I build from the bottom up.__  
__All I get are lies and I'm never quite sure,__  
__I don't want to be closed but it's all that I seem to know__  
__And don't you get the feeling something's gotta give?__And another little piece of me has lost itself to you__  
__No matter what I change, the changes don't pull me through__  
__Another piece of me just goes and does it again__  
__Ignoring all of the signs, flying over the bends__  
__And all that's left is yours to take__Another piece of you just won't let me go, and I'm not even sure you know you're taking a hold__  
__You say you do not get it but I say that you've got it good__  
__You stand perfectly still but I'm running around__And another little piece of me has lost itself to you__  
__No matter what I change, the changes don't pull me through__  
__Another piece of me just goes and does it again__  
__Ignoring all of the signs, flying over the bends__  
__And all that's left is yours to take__When will I realize that nothings as it was, nothings as it was__  
__You won't keep me terrified, 'cause I found another way out__  
__When will I realize that nothings as it was, nothings as it was__  
__You won't keep me terrified, 'cause I found it, I found it, I found it__And another little piece of me has lost itself to you__  
__No matter what I change, the changes don't pull me through__  
__Another piece of me just goes and does it again__  
__Ignoring all of the signs, flying over the bends__  
__And all that's left is yours to take, oh, and all that's left is yours to take__You only do it, 'cause I let you do it, but I'm at the end__  
__You only do it, 'cause I let you do it, but I'm at the end__  
__You only do it, 'cause I let you do it, but I'm at the end."_

My song finished the audience clapped and I avoided Jace by staying hidden as a few more people came to sing before it was Jace's turn. I'd promised that I'd sit where he'd sat and cheer him on. So just before Jace was due to sing his solo, I'd sat in his seat waiting.

Jace came out with a guitar, we didn't agree this. Guessing he'd changed his song as well. Seems like tonight we where the ones who changed things as the last-minute. My thoughts where correct as he played a song I didn't know play..

"_When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
There's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?"  
_

Jace looked directly at me, like he was trying to tell me something. His eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't place._  
"__I won't give up on us__  
__Even if the skies get rough__  
__I'm giving you all my love__  
__I'm still looking up_

_And when you're needing your space__  
__To do some navigating__  
__I'll be here patiently waiting__  
__To see what you find__'Cause even the stars they burn__  
__Some even fall to the earth__  
__We've got a lot to learn__  
__God knows we're worth it__  
__No, I won't give up_

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily__  
__I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make__  
__Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use__  
__The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake__  
__And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend__  
__For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn__  
__We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in__  
__I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not__  
__And who I am__I won't give up on us__  
__Even if the skies get rough__  
__I'm giving you all my love__  
__I'm still looking up__  
__Still looking up.__I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)__  
__God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)__  
__We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)__  
__God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)__I won't give up on us__  
__Even if the skies get rough__  
__I'm giving you all my love__  
__I'm still looking up__._

The crowd applauded and I sat there, confused. Was Jace trying to tell me he loved me like I loved him? Wait I loved him? Yes, I loved him. I'd have to face him soon as I rushed to the stage. There was one person before our duet. We was the last people singing. Luckily I had to be on the other side of the stage to Jace so I didn't have to face him yet. The last duet finished and the stage emptied just before me and Jace where due to sing. Everyone wanted to see what we where going to do as we hadn't told anyone but the stage crew so they knew what to do with the lights.

The music started, but it wasn't the song we where going to sing. What was he doing? I guess I'd just have to go along with it. It was our back up song that we didn't really wanted to sing.

**(Authors note: I don't like glee but my friend showed me this song and it was just so fitting with my story)**

Jace walked on the stage so I figured I should as well. We began to sing.

"_Face to face and heart to heart  
We're so close yet so far apart  
I close my eyes I look away  
That's just because I'm not okay  
But I hold on, I stay strong  
Wondering if we still belong."_

We met in the middle of the stage and sang to each other. We stared at each other. He reached for my hand and held it. I ignored the spark of electricity I felt as he touched me. Our fellow students started clapping at the right times to the song.

_"Will we ever say the words we're feeling__  
__Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls__  
__Will we ever have our happy ending?__  
__Or will we forever only be pretending?__  
__Will we always, always, always be pretending."__  
_

We both walked to opposite sides of the stages, we both sang to the crowd who was looking at us both intently. Everyone in the room was silent._  
"How long do I fantasize  
Make believe that it's still alive  
Imagine that I am good enough  
And we can choose the ones we love  
But I hold on, I stay strong  
Wondering if we still belong,_

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling_  
_Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls_  
_Will we ever have our happy ending?_  
_Or will we forever only be pretending?_  
_Will we always, always, always be."_

We both turned to look at each other Jace's eyes held that emotion again, the one I couldn't place._  
"__Keeping secrets safe__  
__Every move we make__  
__Seems like no ones letting go__  
__And it's such a shame__  
__Cause if you feel the same__  
__How am I supposed to know?"__  
_

We walked back to each other slowly to the middle. The whole audience holding onto our movements and the song._  
"__Will we ever say the words we're feeling__  
__Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls__  
__Will we ever have our happy ending?__  
__Or will we forever only be pretending?__  
__Will we always, always, always be__  
__Will we always, always, always be__  
__Will we always, always, always be pretending?"_

We both met in the middle at the last line of the song came. Jace's eyes still held that emotion. We sung the last word, staring at each other. I finally placed the look in Jace's eyes. He loved me and I loved him. I didn't want to keep on pretending that I didn't. We kissed a few seconds after we finished the song. I forgot what it was like kissing him. I felt his arms pull me closer to him and I snaked my hands into his hair. I forgot about the crowd in front of us, I forgot about everything that had gone on, it was just me and Jace. It felt right. I let all my emotions, my love, my longing for him into this kiss feeling the same feelings from him. We broke apart breathing hard as we realised that the crowd was applauding us. I blushed bright red, Jace reached out for my hand and I accepted it. He smiled at me, his eyes shining brightly. We walked off the stage together, hand in hand. I couldn't help but think that Luke had planned this all a long.

We walked passed Aline backstage who was shooting me death glares.

"That Clary is such a drama queen. I bet she made up that story about that little boy." she sneered.

I let go of Jace's hand. "I'll be back in a moment." I told him. He looked confused but nodded anyway.

I walked up to Aline. I raised my fist to punch her but before I knew it, her minions where on me. She knew that I wouldn't let her get away with saying I was telling lies. She knew I would come and set the record straight. I tried to fight my way out, they'd gotten me down to the floor, they was kicking and punching me. I heard them laughing with each blow they gave to me. I tried to roll myself into a ball to soften the blows. It felt like minutes ticked by. The endless beating went on. Someone was repeatedly kicking my head. I felt dizzy and tired. So tired. I heard Jace shout my name as he spotted me on the floor. He shouted help as he made his was toward me, the teachers finally noticed what was going on and rushed to get help, some of them had ran after the girls as they'd fled away when Jace had finally noticed what was going on. I could feel the darkness pulling me towards it as Jace got to me, he was telling me to stay awake.

"So sleepy Jace." I mumbled.

"Stay awake Clare, you need to stay awake okay?" he told me as he held my hand looking down to me worriedly.

"M'kay." I mumbled.

"There's my little fighter. You where so amazing out there."

My eyes where fighting against me, everything just wanted to sleep. "I love you Jace." I mumbled clearly as the darkness consumed me into unconsciousness.

**Thanks for reading and please if you have time review my story.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Another chapter for you all because I had the next part bugging me and it's currently 2:30am ****as I write this ****(3:41am as I upload this) and I should be sleeping. Oh well!**

Jace POV

"Clary, I don't know if you can hear me, but please wake up soon. I know that you're meant to be healing, but I need some way of knowing you're okay. It's my fault you're in this state, I should have noticed what was going on sooner. I'm so sorry. I could have lost you when I'd only just got you back. I'm so sorry. I love you, I hope you know that. I wish I could have told you that sooner. I wanted to be the first one to tell you. I've got so many plans for us Clare. You're my future and I really need you right now." I held her hand as I confessed all of this to her. I felt her squeeze my hand as I finished speaking. I sighed and felt myself relax. Maybe she'd heard me after all and was trying to tell me she was okay.

Clary POV

Supposedly I'd been out cold for a week, that my body couldn't put up with the shock of the beating that it forced itself to sleep and it was quite normal for it to happen with the seriousness of my injuries. Whatever that means. Everything that I remembered from that night was a bit fuzzy. Supposedly it was natural and that I'd remember eventually. All I knew was that it felt like I'd been drinking tequila again and it had messed with my mind and my god everything hurt like I'd been run over by a steam roller.

So my injuries. I had three broken ribs, a broken leg, three broken fingers, two fingers on my right hand, one on my left. Serve bruising on my chest because of my broken ribs and punches and bruising along my arms. A black eye, split lip and eyebrow. Bruising along my leg that wasn't broken. On the plus side somehow my nose remained intact. And the best news of all I'd be in a wheel chair because the doctors didn't want me to put any weight on my leg. I'd have to be pushed around. I hated being reliable on someone. Maybe I could get an electric one.

Jace wouldn't leave me when I arrived at the hospital. He stayed with me in the room refusing to go until I woke up and told him to go away because he smelled bad. I don't really blame him for not wanting to leave me, knowing Jace he probably thought that it was his fault because he didn't notice sooner what was going on, but imagine if he didn't realise what was going on, I could have had far worse injuries.

While I was unconscious, Jace would sit beside my bed holding my hand, Magnus had walked on to Jace talking to me. Jace didn't realise that Magnus was there, or he'd heard the speech that Jace was telling me. He gave me the short version of what Jace had said. He said that he wanted to be the first one to tell me that he loved me, that he wanted to take me out and tell me somewhere special. That he couldn't imagine his life without me, he was so scared when he saw me crumbled on the floor bleeding that he'd lose me now that he had finally got me back. I kept Magnus and myself quiet. If he wanted to tell me those things he would in his own time. Magnus understood my reasoning.

I've got balloons and cards and chocolate and god knows what else in my room when all I wanted was to get my revenge on the stupid bitches that attacked me. Of course the police got involved and I was pressing charged against all the girls who attacked me. I don't know what was going to happen to them, I just let whoever it was deal with it. I didn't care what happened to them.

For one I hated being in this hospital, I hated their food, the clean smell that always lingered and not being able to go anyway. I'd been unconscious for a week and I'd already spent two days awake in here and I wanted out. I wanted proper food and coffee.

I was flicking through the TV channels and nothing was on I switched it off and threw the remote to the end of my bed in frustration.

"That's no way to treat the poor remote, what's it done to you?" Jace laughed as he walked into the room.

"It chose to have nothing on TV." I replied as he pulled a Starbucks coffee out his bag and handed it to me.

"My god." I moaned as I sniffed it. "I've dreamed about you for days." I confessed.

"Well that's nice, my god like self brings you coffee and instead of dreaming of me, you dream about the coffee." Jace sulked.

I stuck my tongue out at him and drank my coffee happily.

He informed me of all the latest going ons in the school, since he sadly had to go back when I woke up. He wasn't happy about it. He told me about things Izzy and Simon had done, I wasn't really paying attention. He still had black rings under his eyes, was he still not sleeping?

"Earth to Clare." he said as he waved in front on my face.

I blinked. "Sorry what?"

"I asked how you're feeling?"

"So, so. Everything still hurts and my ankle is so itchy."

"They said everything would hurt until it's properly healed, do you need any more pain meds?" he asked worriedly.

"No, I'm good, don't worry I'll tell you if it gets unbearable."

He smiled at me like he approved of my reply.

I rolled my eyes at him and sighed. "You have any idea when I'll be able to get out of here?"

"Not sure, I'll go ask for you." he replied and got up from the seat and walked out the door.

It was a few minutes before he came back with a wheel chair.

"So their, letting me out or a while?"

"Not exactly." he grinned. "I may or may not have stolen the wheelchair and commandeering you to outside before you lose your mind in here." he lifted me into the wheelchair, checking that out the door was safe from nurses before wheeling me out the room quickly towards an elevator.

"Why my hero, what would I do without you!" I replied cheekily.

He smirked at me and wheeled me to a garden. I breathed in the air happily. It was peaceful out here. We strolled along at a slow pace, one Jace seemed happy to keep at because he was afraid that when he'd walked quickly he'd hurt me. Silly boy.

We'd stayed outside for a while at least an hour listening to Jace's iPod and talking away until some nurses realised I'd gone from my room. They'd demanded that I'd be took back instantly. I sighed. I was put back in my room, filled with some more pain meds the moment I was back on my bed safely. Jace was telling me a story of the day again and I was fighting trying to stay awake. Jace must have noticed because he told me that I should sleep. I refused.

"Why must you be so stubborn. Must I sing you a lullaby again? We all know how well that worked last time." he told me smugly.

I gave him the finger and tried to get comfy in bed. He began to sing the lullaby and I was asleep before he even got to the chorus.

**So chapter five is just some fluff. Chapter 6 will be written and uploaded tomorrow at some point. Please review. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it took me so long to add another chapter. I'm ill and work is taking over my life.**

Clary POV

A week rolled around and on the Friday I was allowed to go home and allowed back to school on the Monday, to say I was nervous was an understatement. I knew that the girls who had attacked me somehow managed to stay in the school. Probably bribed their way into staying. I'd finally have to face them in a wheelchair and not punch them. Times like these I really hated when I couldn't do as I wished.

I'd noticed Jace's black rings under his eyes where still there, when I asked him about it, he just shrugged and said he was fine. Whatever was eating him up he'd tell me about it eventually, right? While I was thinking, Mom had brought me some food and gotten the week off work, claiming that I needed her. I'd already mastered the art of climbing the stairs in crutches and making food. What help did I need? Jace had told me that my Mom probably felt guilty for not being there for me lately, so she'd think a week off work would make up for it. I hadn't seen him in a week because of my mom being home more his parents thought it would be an excellent time for him to concentrate on his studies and the things he missed while I was in hospital.

Monday came around and I was still trying to rush around and get everything ready when Jace arrived and knocked at the door.

"Come in Jace!" I shouted from the top of the stairs after looking at the door to who it was.

Jace walked inside and laughed at my distressed state, I was dressed with my make up on, my hair half brushed, bag hanging open with books spilling out of the top. I ended up dropping my bag and hopping back to the bathroom to try and sort my hair out. I brushed it into a pony tail. Jace had came up the stairs and sorted out my bag and was holding it as I walked out the bathroom on my crutches.

"Another two months can't come quick enough." I sighed as I made my way down the stairs.

I kissed Jace on the lips and got the familiar butterfly's in my stomach.

"Good morning." I mumbled to Jace

"Cheer up, first day back and all that." He chuckled and then smacked my bum to get me on my way shaking my keys at me indicating that he'll lock up for me. So I hopped my way to his car with my crutches. Jace being the gentleman he is, helped me into the car, gave me my keys and bag closed the door and put my crutches in the back seat before getting into the drivers seat and driving off towards school.

School was unusually silent as I hopped through the halls. People were staring at me, at the damage they'd done to me. Some gasping, others scurrying out of my way.

"For fuck sake people! Take a fucking photo it'll lost longer by the time I've fucking hopped away and while you're at it send it to everyone and tell them to stop gawking!" I shouted at them. So I may have lost my temper with them but I didn't actually expect them to take a photo and send it round with that message, but they did. I sighed and hurriedly hopped faster to my lesson, sat down with my head on the desk asking myself why do I always get myself in these situations.

"Trouble sure follows you around." Jace chuckled.

"Asshat." I replied still face down on the desk.

School went really smoothly, like really quiet. The skanks and sheep left me alone and whenever they saw me they'd quickly turn around and scurry away like frightened mice. People leave me alone and I leave them alone. Things between me and Jace are as complicated as ever. We still haven't stated what we are two months after the whole school incident. He's as distant as ever and I have no clue how to fix it because he won't open up to me. It's like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. I spend most my time with the rest of the gang or on my own since it's awkward being a third wheel between both couples. They all have noticed something isn't right between me and Jace but they know that I have no idea what it is. I can't be bothered with these mood swings, one moment he wants me the next he doesn't. It's like what the actual fuck. Stop giving me whip lash man. It wasn't like this before though. He actually wanted to be around me, hang out. I have no idea what he's actually doing apart from in school when he acts like everything is fine. I sighed as the bell rang and ended up wondering to the practice music room. My fingers slowly slid along the piano in the middle of the room. I sat down at it and sighed. My fingers played a few chords randomly as I sat trying to figure out me and Jace. I sighed again and played a familiar song I'd learnt a few days ago. (Stay – Mayday Parade)

_I need some time just deliver the things that I need for now__  
__Everything that I feels like a warm deep calm casting over me__  
__And it's taking me to somewhere new___

_If you believe that everything's alright__  
__You won't be all alone tonight__  
__And I'd be blessed by the light of your company,__  
__Slowly lifting me to somewhere new___

_Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well__  
__Since the last time that we spoke, you said__  
__"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."___

_Please___

_What a night it is, when you live like this__  
__And you're coming up beneath the clouds,__  
__Don't let me down__  
__All the love's still there I just don't know what to do with it now__  
__You know, I still can't believe we both did some things__  
__I don't even wanna think about__  
__Just say you love me and I'll say "I'm sorry,__  
__I don't want anybody else to feel this way"__  
__No, no, no___

_Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well__  
__Since the last time that we spoke, I said__  
__"Please understand I've been drinking again, and all I do is hope"___

_Please... stay__  
__Please stay___

_I'll admit I was wrong about everything__  
__Cause I'm high and I don't wanna come down__  
__All the fun that we had on your mothers couch,__  
__I don't even wanna think about___

_I'm not strong enough for the both of us__  
__What was I supposed to do__  
__You know I love you__  
__Whoa-oh__  
__  
__Please just stay__  
__Stay._

I wiped my eyes, not realising that silent tears escaped down my face while singing. I was totally oblivious to the golden haired boy who'd watched me through the entire song. I put my arms down on the piano letting my head fall onto my arms and sighed. The golden haired boy disappeared without making a noise. Clogs turning in his brain, coming up with a plan.

**Please review/favourite and what not. Thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for reviewing, reading and what not. It makes me smile when people give me reviews. So here is chapter 7.**

Clary POV

I was getting my cast off today. I couldn't wait. I wanted to be walking again, I wanted to rid my bike. I wanted to wear skinny jeans. Hell I wanted to wear two pairs of shoes! Surprisingly they didn't need me to do physio or whatever it is, I just had to be very careful for a few weeks. I didn't care I could ride my bike. So that what I did. The moment I'd gotten home, I'd jumped onto my bike and ridden it with no care where I went. Jace said he'd take me to the hospital, he'd cancelled last-minute not even bothering to explain why. I went in a cab instead. He was still being distant with me. Izzy had said he'd been planning something for me, but when she'd asked him about it he said he wasn't any more. I should talk to him about it right but he was always too busy doing god knows what. We'd go to school, he'd disappear to where ever and I'd be left with the rest of the gang. They tried to talk to me about it but I just shrugged it off.

About a week later, Jace finally found time to come to my house. Of course he'd texted me an hour before he said he'd be there, but it was a good thing right? He was finally no longer busy and wanted to spend some time with me. How wrong could I have been.

I was currently sat in the woods somewhere, half a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand. I'd already drunk half of it. I was drowning my sorrows as they say. Things between me and Jace well we'd broken up. He'd broken up with me. I don't know why. I'd taken a walk to get away from my phone blaring at me. He'd broken up with me about two hours ago maybe three. I'm not sure since I'd left my phone lighting up my bedroom. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want them to tell me how sorry they was. That Jace was an ass hat for breaking up with me. I didn't want to feel any more. I wanted to forget, just for a little while. He'd come to my house, saying that we needed to talk. He told me I should sit down for it. He told me he didn't want to see me any more. That it wasn't my fault. I screamed at him to get out. I opened the door and watched him walk out of it, closing the door, standing with my back to it trying to not fall apart. It didn't work, I slid down the door, tears flowing from my eyes trying to figure out how everything went from being so right to being so wrong. I'm guessing about half an hour later Izzy started ringing me up, I left it to ring next to me as I cried. I took another large gulp of Jack Daniels welcoming the burning sensation. After getting annoyed with my phone I took myself and it upstairs and hunted for my Jack Daniels. I'd hidden it especially for times like these. I left my phone on my bed, downing a large amount of my bottle and walking out of my house not even caring to lock the door behind me.

I'd always liked these woods, no one would come find me, it was peaceful. They where my place where I'd go when the world would become too much to handle. I finally passed out as the sun was rising clutching my now empty bottle knowing that I'd never be able to make it home.

I woke up in the afternoon I'm guessing. I was still drunk but I didn't care. I wanted food. I searched my pockets, yes I'd have enough to buy some food. I stumbled my way to a nearby café. The waitress taking a few stares at my current state but not saying anything. The bitch knows what's good for her. I drank black coffee and moaned at the smell of it. I'd ordered a good fried breakfast, well dinner. I got bacon, lots of it, eggs, the works. It made me feel slightly better. I looked at the clock it was two pm. I'd been gone for about twenty hours, more of less. Time to face to world I guess. The walk home felt like walking to my impending doom. No one was home when I walked in. I sighed thankfully. I locked the door behind me. Maybe I could spend a few more hours hiding from the world. I walked into my bedroom, picking my phone up. Several hundred missed calls from Izzy, lots of voice mails and texts. I read through the texts, basically they where asking why I wasn't picking up my phone. To call her as soon as possible. A few threatening me. One telling me she'd be round my house. The latest one telling me she'd been round and I wasn't there, surprise surprise. But she wanted a message later letting her know I was still alive. I text her telling her I was alive. That I'd talk later. I took a hot shower, letting the water burn my cold skin, at least I felt something other than the pain in my chest.

I crawled into bed, I told Izzy I'd speak to her tomorrow about it, she didn't try to argue with me about it. I don't know when I fell asleep. I'd spent hours just staring at my ceiling but the next thing I remember is my alarm going off to get ready for school. I sighed but I had to go, I'd managed one heart ache I can manage another right? Of course I could. I was Clary fucking Fray. I dressed deciding that since it was my first day of new singleism I might as well dress to impress. I wore some avengers heels I bought a few weeks because I loved them and the added fact they made me taller.. Black skinny jeans, a white skull t-shirt and my leather jacket. I put my make up in a smoky look and decided on bright red lipstick just because I could. I packed my bag, ate a bagel or two because I was hungry and diets suck. Slung my bag into my bike and gunned my way to school.

I stood next to my bike, I'd had specific instructions to wait there for Izzy and Magnus to arrive. Of course they'd arrive with Jace. What was the point in all taking their own cars when they was off to the same place and might as well pick up Magnus while they was at it. So I stood there in all my glory waiting for them, winking at boys because why the fuck not. I won't break down at school. They arrived eventually. I'd been half reading a book when they pulled up. Jace looked at me confused, did he really expect me let him see the hurt he caused. He hurried ahead of them with Alec. He smiled at me and mouthed sorry at me. I nodded to him letting him know it was alright.

Izzy and Magnus practically dragged me to somewhere private wanting to know what happened. I told the everything because these two people were the only two that I honestly trusted with my darkest secrets. I told them how Jace had broken up with me, not even giving me an explanation. Not even trying to explain it to me as I kicked him out my house. I told them how I'd spent that night drunk in the woods needing some time alone. They both wanted to hurt Jace, I did but what was the point. He'd led me on again and I was stupid enough to think that he wouldn't hurt me again. They both gave me hugs and we went to class.

He didn't speak to me until lunch. I was sat with everyone, he came over looking well like shit. Good.

"Clare, can we talk please?" He begged.

"Whatever you want to talk about can be said in front of everyone." I replied sharply.

"Why do you have to be such a bitch about this."

"Took you long enough to realise I am a bitch."

"For fuck sake Clarissa. Just fucking talk to me in private without this fucking act."

"Who says it is an act, also why would I want to talk to the person who broke up with me and didn't even explain why. I think that gives me the right to talk to you however the fuck I want." I replied biting into an apple.

Jace's fists clenched together next to his sides. "Can't you just be civil for 2 minutes."

"No. On that note I will be leaving." I stood up, grabbed my bag holding my phone in my hand as began to walk away. Jace grabbed my hand and turned me to look at him.

"Aline is pregnant Clare. That's why I can't be with you!" He shouted frustrated at me.

My phone slipped from my hand, shattering to the floor, all the pieces of it breaking apart. My bag falling off my shoulder to the ground, everything falling out of it across the floor. I ran. Leaving everything behind, the only things visible of the damage he done. The things that resembled my heart breaking even more. I ran and hid, I hid from everything in a closet hugging my knees trying to keep all the broken pieces of me together. Like it would somehow work.

**Thanks for reading, please review.**


	8. Authors note

Authors note.

Hey guys, sorry I kinda abandoned this story, I have just had a lot of personal things going on right now. I am currently writing a new chapter for this story, hopefully it will be up next week as I've got a busy week at work. Thank you for sticking with this story even though I am the worst updater and what not.

Thanks.


	9. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, sorry it took me so long to update this. My life has kinda been turned upside down and I had writers block and I didn't like the way my story was going to end up. Nevertheless, here's a new chapter.**

Magnus found me in the closet an hour later. He didn't say anything, he just sat next to me. That's the thing with him, he understands when you just don't want to talk.

"You should talk to him, you know?" he said after a considerable amount of time has passed.

"I know, I just.. I don't even know what I'd say. "Oh hey sorry you knocked up Aline." It just isn't right. After everything I still can't keep him. After everything I have to watch him be with someone else. I don't want to have to watch that, I don't want to watch him love someone else."

Magnus took hold of my hand. "This is where you don't go it alone, you don't move away for years. You lean on your friends, you're allowed to be vulnerable Clary. You're human. I'm not going to defend Jace but think about it from his view, he only just got the girl back he's pined after for years and now, now he has to give you up because he's afraid, he doesn't want his child to grow up without a proper family, like he did. You understand him much better than the rest of us, talk to him, without shouting."

I nodded at Magnus, sometimes he's much older than what he should be with advise like that. Magnus passed me his phone since I'd broken mine, I typed in the message "We need to talk, My house after school – Clary." and sent it. Magnus made the final hair and make up checks before we left the closet.

"It'll be alright Clary." Magnus stated as we walked to class.

Jace was sat on his car waiting for me to come home as I turned the corner on my bike. He eventually followed me into my house I'd sat down purely to distance myself away from him.

I'd already written what I wanted to know from him. It was a habit I do when things got complicated, when I couldn't keep my thoughts together I'd write them down. The note was crumpled from constant opening and closing it and fumbling around with it while I waited for Jace to speak.

Jace sighed, running through his hands through his hair while he walked up and down collecting his thoughts. He notices my note in my hands as I refold it to close up.

"May I?" He asks gesturing at the note, he knows me too well. I nod at him and let him take it from my hands.

He starts reading the note, I watch for any kind of reaction from him, but he stands expressionless. His eyes not giving anything away.

"Right." He states running a hand through his hair. "You have to believe me Clare, I didn't want this to happen, I didn't want her, I don't want a child. I just want you. I have always only wanted you. I never meant to hurt you and I have yet again. I'd give up everything to not be in this situation, to not have a child while we're at school, to not be a father to anyone apart from our children, I wanted a little you getting stuck in trees daydreaming away, I wanted to be proud of every art work that she'd bring home to show me but I can't have that.. I can't leave this poor child without trying to be at least a decent father to it. It deserves that much, no one deserves to grow up without their dad."

I can see the truth in his eyes, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. If anything it hurts more that he'd imagined being with me so far in his life that we'd have children.

"I know, I hate how much we've been through to finally sort it out and it all just ends so badly. You're going to be a great father you know? You're not like him, you never have been." I sigh loudly "I guess it's back to being friends, well as friendly as you can be when you love someone you can't have." I laugh dryly.

Jace bends down in front of me and holds my hands. I stare into his eyes for a moment, they're glazing over, like when you're trying not to cry. It hurts that he's nearly crying, he hasn't cried in years.

"I'm always going to love you Clare, no matter what happens, you're the one who changed me and made me into a better person. You're the girl who made me realise that loving someone doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong. You made me strong again." He kisses my hand. "I'm always going to be something to you, even when you move on from me. I'm always going to be something in your life."

He stands leaving me in silence. I take him in, the tiredness and reluctance to leave me, but we both know that he has to walk out the door, that he has to leave no to save us from hurting but for the child, the child that will one day learn all about his father sacrifices he made for it.

I nod at him, silently telling him that we're okay, well will be and that it is okay for him to go because it's hard being around each other at the moment. The pain is still fresh like a wound. It hasn't healed enough yet, but in time like any wound, it heals and so will we.

**I'm such a crappy updater. Thank you to those who have stayed and continued reading this story, the people who keep telling me to update. I promise chapter nine will be up eventually, just bare with me a little longer.**


	10. Chapter 9

**So because of my however long hiatus with this story, here's another chapter for sticking with me so long. Please feel free to review, the people who have reviewed recently have kicked my butt into gear.**

It took a couple of months before Jace and I could be comfy around each other. There was a hell of a lot of awkward pauses and tension and everyone tried their best to help with it. Telling jokes, never leaving us alone with each other. Eventually it got easier, the awkwardness disappeared and well it was supposedly easier. So everyone thought.

I couldn't sleep much, I'd sleep about four maybe five hours a night, sleeping pills didn't work and I just couldn't stop my mind from running away with itself. I tried to act normal eventually, but I honestly don't think they believe that I'm doing okay. How can you be okay when you have to watch the one person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, be with someone else. When they don't want them. I have to watch Aline growing bigger and bigger and having Jace running around after her because she demands it, because he got her in this situation, her words not mine. Doesn't she get it takes two to tango? That it is her fault as much as Jace's and now they are having to deal with their actions. It's hard, you never realise how hard it is until you have to go through it yourself.

That is how I had missed half my lessons, I was laying outside under a tree having inner musing, head phones in ignoring the world. It wasn't a bad day to be outside, hot with a nice breeze so it didn't really bother me that I was out here. I felt footsteps coming towards me, I turned my head to see who it was. It was Jace, he looked well tired. He didn't say anything, he just sat next to where I was laying. I took and earphone out if he decided to talk and hummed along to the song I was listening to.

"You look tired." he stated to me.

"Could say the same about you, Aline had you running about doing god knows what because you got her in this situation?" I questioned

He sighed at me and ran his fingers through his hair, my fingers itched to run themselves through it, like they used to.

"She does know it takes two to tango as they say, she got herself into it as well and shouldn't blame you for it." I continued.

"I know. I know. I'm just trying to be a good Dad okay?"

"That's the thing, you're going to be a good dad, no doubt about it. You're not him as much as you tell yourself you are. You aren't, you're better than him. Better than all this self doubting. You're going to be the best dad to that child." I go to touch his hand, he watches my hand as it hovers over his and place it on top. His body relaxes, like all the tension he's had, had just disappeared.

He lays down next to me, I offer him an earphone and we stay like that for an hour in silence listening to music. It's times like this that make me happy, that I hold onto because for one short moment we're back to when everything was simple when it was just me and him and no one else in the world, we could do anything, be anyone without any worries. Life was simple before everything went to hell.

It was Saturday and I did intend on getting myself lost in the world of books since I could no longer get lost in the world of art. I'd just stare at the blank canvas for hours hoping that some kind of inspiration would come. I guess my inspiration left the same day Jace did and whatever I try to paint just reflects pain, suffering and heart ache, but at least with a book I can pretend for a short while that I'm in a different world, that nothing is going on around me and I can live through the wonderful characters adventures. Izzy had other ideas. She'd somehow let herself into my house, god knows how but it's Izzy so you can't really question it. She pushed me into my bathroom demanding that I was going to shower and we where going to pandemonium. An hour and a half later after my shower, I was scrubbed, waxed, plucked, burnt and attacked with make up and I was deemed ready to go get changed into something suitable. I'd decided on a cute blue lace dress with a pair of black lace shoe boot things. My hair was in soft curls down my back and my make up minimal eye liner and mascara. Izzy well Izzy always looked stunning in whatever she was wearing. Six inch spiked heels, a plain black dress that made you wonder how long her legs were. We put our things into our bags and then hailed a taxi, supposedly everyone was meeting us there and we was gonna hook me up with some hottie, Izzy's words not mine. The fact was, the only hottie I wanted, I couldn't have.

The filled me up with my favourite alcohol, Jack Daniels. I had a happy buzz. I sat sipping on my recent drink watching Magnus and Alec dance together. Well it was more Alec awkwardly swaying and Magnus being the more flamboyant of the both of them and trying to make Alec come out of his shell. Alec was laughing at Magnus and his attempts. I smiled a genuine smile at them. Izzy and Simon where somewhere in the crowds of people either dancing away or getting drinks. Izzy eventually came back and I excused myself to go to the toilets.

I pulled out my phone as I was walking I'd had a text from Jace.

This is utter torture, I'm reading about birth and stuff. - Jace

It's a wonderful world isn't it, women go through that. - Clary

I walked into the bathroom into a stall. I heard some girls enter the bathroom. I thought nothing of it until I heard Aline's voice. I gripped my phone, what was she doing here? I mean she's what 5 months pregnant or something and she's out in a bar at 1am. Something seems crazy to me. I quickly loaded my phone onto voice record. I honestly don't know what I was expecting to hear from her.

"I have that tool where I want him, the idiot thinks I'm pregnant with his child." she sneered.

"What are you going to do when you're eventually meant to have the child?" her minion slurred.

"That's the genius part. I can pay off the doctor and make him think the child is a still born. That way I can keep him all to myself without that stupid ginger getting in the way. Me and Jace, we're meant to be together. It is nature, the best go for the best and we are the best. He will come around to it eventually."

She eventually left the bathroom, I stopped recording it. I was furious with her, I wanted blood. I wanted to hurt her because it was all a game to her, to play with our feelings, to get her own way. I hated Aline. I hated her. I wanted to hurt her, the way she would hurt Jace when he found out. Jace.. he's going to be so heart-broken. Silent tears slipped down my face. Jace didn't want her, but he wanted the child. He wanted to prove that he could be a good dad, he wanted to bring that child up. He told me so many things he thought the child would be, things he thought the child would turn out to be. He'd have his hair and his wit. He'd charm his way with the ladies but Jace would teach him never to break a girl's heart so willingly like he had done before me. I had to go tell him right? I had to go tell him the truth even though it would break him?

I dashed out the toilets, only stopping to tell Izzy that I had to go do something and it was important. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out what I was going to do. I guess she thought I was going to go cry to Jace because she grabbed my arm. I pulled my arm out of her grasp and mouthed sorry as I dashed through the club to the exit into the night. If Jace was going to be told this by anyone, it had to be me. Well it should be Aline, but he wouldn't let anyone else see him break down. I hailed and cab and told the driver that if he got me there in 10 minutes he'd have an extra twenty bucks.

**Thanks for reading, feel free to review, they kick my butt into writing the next chapter. Hopefully the next chapter will be up sometime next week.**


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